Golden Boots

Golden Boots

by Nancy Grossman-Samuel

I have a pair of golden boots. They are not boots I would have bought myself, but when Pat said she wanted them I was tickled. Someone should have those golden boots. And they’re mine now. And I am both sad and happy at the same time because it would be nice if Pat could still wear her golden boots. She’s done with them. She’s done with it all. She decided, at seventy something that she’d had it here and was ready to move on.

I met Pat because I was her hospice volunteer. We became good friends. She told me her stories. Some common, some exciting, like about when she won a modeling contest even before finishing high school, and how she went all over the country and the world to model clothes. She showed me her picture in a magazine. She was adorable. She was wearing a cute blue dress, white gloves (I think), and a white belt that accentuated her teeny tiny waist. She was naive and young, and the money would be a great help to her hard working mother who she loved as much as life itself.

Though barely conscious, I sat with Pat a few days before she passed, and there were times she’d get a smile on her face that I knew meant she must be seeing that very mother.

While modeling in New York, she met a young man who was a friend of her employer. Sometime later she was invited down south where he lived with his parents for a holiday visit. He was Jewish and she was Christian and his mother would have none of it. He was wealthy and she was poor, and he adored her and she him. But he could not defy his parents, and they parted forever. Not a happy event for either of them.

The next time Pat heard from him was the day of her wedding. He decided he’d made a terrible mistake and went to her house; she was out; her mother told the young man that Pat was to be married that day. He left, I assume heartbroken. I tried to find him through Google and various social media sites, but I was never successful. I didn’t tell her that I was going to try, or that I did try. Neither of her two marriages worked and I had fantasies about them meeting and that meeting creating a healing for her.

Pat was very self-sufficient, but when I met her she was very ill and living at her daughter’s house. Right before Christmas she went back to her own apartment where I visited her for nearly a year. As she declined, she moved to a private care home. Before we knew it, she was off hospice for failure to decline. Being fed three meals a day, and assisted daily with her general care was probably the key though she often missed her independent living.

No longer my hospice patient, I kept visiting, and eventually we decided it would be okay, since I was now just her friend, to leave the house together. I would drive her. She loved my Prius plug-in. She loved the car, its light blue color, and the drive. She loved to get out and go places. We went to movies, lunch, and shopping. Pat loved to shop. It made her happy.

When I originally saw those golden boots my eyes widened, but it was more a “who would wear those?” wide. When Pat saw them she said “Oh my. I think I have to have those.”

She tried them on and asked me if she was silly to get them. I asked her if she really liked them, and when she said ‘yes’ I said, ‘no, you are not silly to get them.’

The following week we went out, and she was wearing the golden boots. She looked like a kid in a candy shop. “Will you be embarrassed to be seen with me wearing these?” she asked, a grin on her face.

“Are you kidding?” I asked, “I want to get a pair of my own!”

Rest in Peace Pat – you are missed

A post script to this story: I was working on a number of different possible stories to read at the open mic for which this was written. I spent hours and came up with lots of things that weren't working for a variety of reasons. None of them were about Pat. I took a shower to get ready to go figuring I would not read, just enjoy others’ stories. I sat down one more time with not very much time left before I had to go, the golden boots on my feet, and this story poured out of me. I’m sure it was Pat at my shoulder dictating. She would have loved the open mic evenings. I’m sorry I never thought to invite her.