The Nerve of Some People

It was morning in the ‘Big Apple.’ A few guests staying at the narrow brick hotel that took up a tiny corner in Soho were checking out in order to get back to their ordinary lives. They had just spent a few rainy days lauding in the extraordinary graduations of their offspring who now had to get on with their new abnormal lives – lives with no tests, no classes, no library visits – lives that were going to require job searches and stressors that were never there before. Lives in which they would have to successfully ignore the news of high unemployment, financial woes, and rising costs if they were to find the promised American Dream. Find your passion intoned Bill Clinton, but many would just like to find a job that would allow them to stay in this outrageously expensive city.

Some hotel guests were leaving for home, and some just going out to begin their finally rain-free day’s adventures. And then there was the young, black suited, diamond earringed business woman who looked over to the TV and announced in a loud, syrupy, pretending to be nonchalant voice “Oh, I know those newscasters.”

No one looked particularly impressed, though to a person each looked at the TV where a group of CNN reporters were singing happy birthday to a colleague who had just completed a story about the proclaimed end of the world day which was just a few days off, and was also her birthday. One of the onlookers advised celebrating her birthday early, but the yellow tee-shirt clad proselytizer told her she’d be better off praying.

“Where is your business center?” diamond earrings interrupted. Roger, the desk agent, an apologetic look in his eyes, glanced from the guest he was helping to the woman. “I’m sorry, we don’t have one,” he said softly and considerately. As she tried to continue, he said gently, “I’m sorry, could you please wait just a teeny moment until I finish helping this gentleman?”

She nodded and her eyes went back to her colleagues on the television.

Roger went back to his previous interaction with the distinguished looking gentleman and his slight, well coiffed wife who were leaving for home several states away after their son’s graduation from New York University’s unique Gallatin School. The school where each student devises his or her own major. One student had even graduated with a degree in ‘Evil.’

There were still a few guests waiting to be served, but as the couple turned to walk down the stairs, Diamond Earrings interrupted again. “Could you just print out a few things for me? I have a meeting, I’m running…”

“Ma’am, I would be more than happy to help you, but these guests were here first. I want to thank you in advance for patiently waiting your turn. Just a few more minutes, okay?”

Exasperated she conceded. She looked at her watch every twenty seconds and sized up the people in line to decide if they deserved to be helped before her. She tapped her toe against the marble floor and her briefcase bounced against her leg as she sighed so that everyone could hear.

“Thank you Mr. and Mrs. Rassmonson, we hope you come back to see us soon.”

“Oh yes, twittered Mrs. Rassomonson. We had a wonderful stay. Roger you and Mary were terribly nice and we so appreciate everything you did for us.”

Diamond Earrings, face turned away, was mouthing ‘yak yak yak,’ and rolling her eyes. ‘Hurry up’ she mouthed at the window. She looked at the poorly dressed woman sitting on the couch and working on her computer and rolled her eyes thinking – ‘a tie dyed tee-shirt on an old person. Where does she think she is, California?!’

After helping the last undeserving customer, Diamond Earrings sighed and leaned against the desk. “Now can you help me?”

“Certainly, what is it you need?”

“I need to have some papers printed out before my meeting.”

“Could you e-mail them to me?” he asked.

“Yes,” she said in a relieved voice. “That would be fine.”

“What room are you in?” Roger asked.

“Um, well, I’m not a guest here.” But my friend is,” she added quickly.

“Well we can’t do…” he began to say but then changed his mind. “What room is your friend in?” asked Roger.

“I don’t know, and she’s not answering her phone,” said Diamond Earrings as again made a show of dialing her phone and listening.

“What is your friend’s name?” he asked politely wearing his professional smile.

“Jennifer.” She said, “Jennifer Smith.”

“Smith, he repeated as he looked through his registration file, Jennifer Smith,” He scrolled through the names several times, taking his time and then looked up sadly at Diamond Earrings. “I’m so sorry,” he said with a sigh, “but I don’t seem to have a Jennifer Smith staying with us at this time.”

“Well, she’s famous and she probably used an alias to check in.”

“Do you know what that alias might be?” he asked.

“How would I know her alias?”

Tie Dye woman, mouthed to her computer “if she’s your friend, wouldn’t she have told you her alias?”

Roger tried to suppress a smile as he responded to Diamond Earrings. He was very good at lip reading. “I’m truly sorry, but I just can’t help you. We are not set up as a formal business services office and our business services are reserved for our hotel guests. If I accommodated everyone who came in and asked for business service assistance I would not have time to help our own guests.”

“Well, you don’t seem very busy this second.” she observed coolly looking around at the one other person who was waiting patiently behind her and tapping something into her cell phone.

“I’m sorry, I just can’t.” Roger called Cell Phone Tapper forward as diamond earrings looked at the tie dyed tee-shirt lady. “Excuse me, are you a guest here?” she asked sweetly.

“Umhum.” The woman responded not looking up from her keyboard.

“Listen,” diamond earrings asked turning so that her back was completely facing Roger and glancing over her shoulder to make sure he was busy with the other woman. “Could I e-mail you a document and ask you to have him print it?”

From behind Diamond Earring’s back Tie Dyed woman could see Rogers’ eyes widen as his lips pursed and his forehead wrinkled. He frantically shook his head ‘no.’.

Tie Dyed smiled at Diamond Earrings and said, “I’m sorry, I just can’t.” At the woman’s intense gaze she added, “I don’t have an internet connection.”

Diamond Earrings looked around as if she were surveying a slum and confronted Desk Clerk. “I need to know your name, the name of the hotel manager, and the phone number here,” she snapped.

Desk Clerk picked up a business card and handed it to her with a smile. “He’ll be here after four today.” Diamond Earrings grabbed the card, looked at Desk Clerk’s name badge, wrote something on the back of the card, did a crisp military-like turn, and walked out, her three inch heals clicking furiously on the marble stairs.

The room was empty except for Tie Dyed and Desk Clerk, and they both listened to her storm out. When he heard the electronic front doors Desk Clerk said, under his breath, “She’s going to try and get me fired, the bitch.”

Tie Dyed laughed and Desk Clerk smiled a conspiratorial smile. Tie Dyed smiled and said “She really was a bitch.”

“I have a lobby full of guests and she wants me to print shit out for her. And her friend is NOT a guest here,” he with disgust. “The nerve of some people!” “You just wouldn’t believe what people try to get away with. And they always say their friend’s name is Jennifer Smith.”

“You’re kidding.”

“No, Jennifer Smith. Don’t know what it is… You know, if I helped everyone who walked in here I’d have no toner, no paper. Well, we just can’t do that. We aren’t a big hotel, we don’t have the resources to help everyone in New York, but I’d be more than happy to print out anything you wanted. You’re in room 105, my favorite room. After a pause he added slyly, “And you DO have an internet connection, I gave you the password when you checked in – very clever rouse. I’ll bet she was staring bullets at you,” he sighed, “one is just forced to lie to people like her. But we’re not all like that you know.”

Tie Dyed shook her head. “No, you aren’t. Everyone I’ve encountered this trip has been very nice. I think New Yorkers get a bad rap.”

“You know,” said Desk Clerk, “I find that people here have become nicer since 9-11.”

“Really?”

“Oh yes, absolutely. Much nicer. Most people anyway. Thank you for not helping Miss Diamond Earrings. Probably the only real thing about her. I saw how she looked at you. I don’t think she approved of your shirt and sweat pants.”

The middle aged woman sighed, “I really don’t understand this new generation of young men and women who feel like the world owes them. Where do they get off?”

“Hmph,” responded Desk Clerk. “I’d love to be able to tell her where to get off, but then I really would lose my job, even if she isn’t a guest.” He sighed, “Well… I’m sure she’s going to try and get my boss to fire me. She won’t be the first, and certainly not the last. They love me here. They’ll never fire me.”

Tie Dyed laughed. “And I love you too Roger. Because of you, I would definitely stay here again.”

He gave her a cute closed mouthed smile and a wink. “By the way, I love your tie-dye.” He said as he walked from behind the counter and lifted up his pant leg showing her tie-dyed socks.

It was now her turn to give a wink and a smile.