Procrastingation

Yahoo! I read in a recent e-mail that procrastination does not equal laziness. It only means that I am not aligned with my desires. Could this be true and how DO I align?

Here is what I read:

“What is the definition of procrastination? It means: I can feel within my Energy sensor that this action is not in perfect alignment at this time.” Abraham (Abraham-Hicks.com)

Okay, so this is the biggest woo woo statement I’ve heard in ages (and I LOVE and agree with much woo woo), but it seems to give all the lazy butts in the world an out: we can’t do it, we’re just not aligned! I guess we just need to hang out here in front of the TV until our alignment ship comes in!

This sounds like my students and one of the reasons I don’t really want to go back to teaching: “Sorry Ms. Grossman, I just wasn’t aligned enough to do my homework.” Truthfully, that IS what they were saying, and they were right, maybe my job should have been to help them get more aligned. When I don’t want to do something, when it feels forced and chore-like, if I do it anyway, it’s often a painful experience and the result is often shoddy or half-assed; therefore, I might as well not have done it at all.

‘But HOW????!!!’ I asked myself, after thinking that I can’t just play games, watch movies, hang with friends, and read books all day …am I supposed to do that? If I wait until I’m in alignment to do something, I’ll never do anything – what then? Dirty toilets, bills unpaid, work incomplete, letters not answered, meals not cooked, cats not fed, taxes not paid, clothes unwashed and un-ironed.

SO HOW??? “Ah, there…,” as Hamlet reminded us as he was trying to decide whether or not to be – “…is the rub.” How do align myself? This once joyful news turned to instant depression as just thinking about HAVING to align myself felt like hard work. I started to wonder if I was just going to succumb to loser status and never line up with anything, or if there was a magic button that I could push to get me into alignment.

I decided that I was NOT a loser, and that this magic button was my holy grail! How will I enthusiastically align myself to the tasks that I must do? This process is still in its infancy, but I have made progress. I first looked at ways that others have used – rewards and punishment. If I do this, then I get that. If I don’t do this, I CAN’T get or do that. Been there, done that – doesn’t work.

What about ideal scenes and visualizations? These are tools I’ve learned and not used to their fullest extent. I started to fantasize an outcome that would enhance my life and make me feel good. It took some creativity and brain power as I thought about my house which has been neglected for some time. I was having trouble finding a compelling enough vision for cleaning the house. I couldn’t seem to visualize with any level of believability that Brad Pitt would show up at my doorstep. But as I began to visualize my home nice and clean, I realized that that is how I really do like it (I miss my housekeeper who is not working because she is seriously ill).

I didn’t want to overwhelm myself because I wanted this to work, and procreation, at this point, has become more or less a life style, and cleaning the house is not a 15 minute job. So, I remembered an old phrase… “three-foot-tosses.” I didn’t have to do everything now. Sitting comfortably in my meditation chair I clearly visualized my sinks clean, the counters clear save for a few toiletries and my bamboo plant, the floor free of cat littler, the mirrors glistening, the carpets sweet and cat-hair free, and low and behold – I actually wanted to clean my bathroom! I got up and immediately started on the task. The joy I felt when I actually finished was quite amazing, and the volume of cat hair collected in my vacuum was quite exciting! I loved looking around. My reflection was smudge free, the counter tops and sinks were hair-free, gunk-free, and shiny. I was immediately motivated to go to bathroom number two, but by the time I had completed bathroom number three, I was ready to bestow sainthood on my housekeeper! How on earth does she do bathrooms and floors and everything else and so quickly?!? I guess I know what career I will never pursue. I can housekeep, but I need my visions and three-foot tosses. Having accomplished this mundane task, I started to look at another task that would need aligned motivation.

I’ve been saying I want to write for years, and November 1^st was the 11^th inauguration of NAtional NOvel WRIting MOnth (NANOWRIMO). I have done it successfully twice before, so I know that I can. But last year was a race to the finish. I got it done at the 11^th hour. The goal is 50,000 words in 30 days and on the 1^st I took my first step toward my latest novel, or more accurately, the first step of stringing together 50,000 words that will all, more or less, have something to do with each other.

NANOWRIMO motivation is actually quite un-writer-like, but it works. I love the process of competition and I love being around people, and there are NANOWRIMO groups in every town in America. So far, there are 172,000 aspiring novelists signed up. Many of us apparently like to write together. Isn’t writing supposed to be a solitary endeavor? Not in this venue apparently. I love being with people, I love writing, and I love competition.

Day one of NANOWRIMO: I, from my California home, wrote with a group in Cape Cod. Actually, it was me and one person in Cape Cod. She was with others at the Hyannis Borders, but she and I were in textland together.

“NOW!” She would text, and I would start my intensive writing until I heard the text tone on my cell phone 30 minutes later. I looked down, and the text said “STOP.” I then texted over my word count and when our two “word wars” were done, I was happily on my way – Day 1: 3631 words. Someone else in Cape Cod beat me by about 200 words per round (rats – when I was with them two years ago, I won many of our word wars). My total after day two is 7,279 words! No “word wars” in Mission Viejo, but there were a bunch of people, and the breaks were fun. The required number of words per day to “win” at NANOWRIMO (50K/30Days) is a measly 1667. Of course, now that I have sung the praises of my wondrous daily average (3640), I have a built-in motivation! If I continue at this rate, I’ll hit a grand total of 109,200 words!!! That’s more than the 76,944 words of a favorite: Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone (I am not saying that what I am committing to paper will rival that book, but AHHHH, I can dream). My goal – okay it’s not really a goal, 50,000 is still the goal, but IF I do manage to keep my current average, I will have written even more words than another great favorite: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban which clocks in at a proud 107,253 words.

Okay, so I get it – to align with my desires I need a deadline, a vivid mental picture, people (even if they’re just on the phone), enthusiasm, and passion (even if they are just manufactured). I’m glad I finally know this about myself at 58 years old! I wonder what my students would have needed to get aligned with writing their essays.

So… can I build up passion for cleaning out my guest bedroom closet? No problem, if I can build enthusiasm for clean toilets, I can build it for a closet. If I build it – it can be done.