by Susan Cameron
We were talking last week about class differences. I made the point that as you go up the social scale, the men tend to be good providers and the women tend to be trophy wives; the lower you descend, the more likely the women are good providers and the men are largely useless drones. I decided to back up my point with unscientific, anecdotal evidence provided by pop music. :)
Let's take some excerpts from a classic example from my youth, Shirley Brown's Grammy-winning Best Song Of The Year 1975, Woman to Woman.
Shirley has called Barbara on the phone, having found Barbara's number in her man's pocket. After calmly explaining who she is, she continues:
"...it's only fair that I let you know that the man you're in love with --
He's mine....
From the top of his head
To the bottom of his feet.
The bed he sleeps in
And every piece of food he eats --
You see, I make it possible.
The clothes on his back --
Ha ha, I buy them.
The car he drives --
I pay the note every month.
So I'm telling you these things
To let you know how much I love that man.
And woman to woman
I think you'll understand
How much I'll do to keep him...
Now, if you were in my shoes
Wouldn't you have done the same thing too...
Was I right or was I wrong
I ain't gonna let you break up my happy home...
Now you see I don't want no trouble now
I hope you understand
I love that man and he's mine...
And I ain't gonna give him up...
Song Of The Year, 1975. Yeah, that's one happy home that hussy Barbara is interfering with. But, hey, that was 1975, and things were different then. Erm, until you listen to Beyoncé's hit from 2006, Irreplaceable:
To the left, to the left,
Everything you own in a box to the left...
In the closet, that's my stuff,
If I bought it, please don't touch...
So go ahead and get gone
Call up that chick and see if she's home
Oops, I bet ya thought that I didn't know
What did you think I was putting you out for?
Because you was untrue
Rolling her around in the car that I bought you
Baby drop them keys
Hurry up before your taxi leaves...
My point? Beyoncé's singing a song about throwing a man out of her house, a man she bought a car for (BEYONCE! Bought him a CAR!), and a nation of downscale young ladies listened to the song, nodding their heads, just like they did for Shirley Brown so long ago. Of course the narrator bought him the car he cruised around in with another woman. Bet she also bought him an iPhone and paid his overdue bill and found the calls he made to the other woman. Bet she also gave him food money, and he took another woman out to dinner with it. Probably lent him her credit cards, too. Women at the bottom pay dearly, one way or another, for the company of a man to assuage their loneliness.
The pop music light at the end of the tunnel? Beyoncé didn't call the other woman, explaining that she was going to keep her man, no matter what; instead, she threw the deadbeat out. I guess that's progress, but damn! Forty years gone by, and women are still buying the cars!
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17 hours ago
OMG you make me laugh and cry at the same time.
ReplyDeleteLove can make fools of us all.
But you know the prime directive for anything compelling - conflict - conflict and more conflict!
We love to watch these train wrecks - so I guess the good news is that we are not the train wreck ourselves; at least not in the guy-girl department - or are we?!?!
You know, you are NEVER going to change women who want a guy so much that they're willing to close their eyes to every fault and be taken advantage of big time (or vise versa - men who want...).
A song about a love gone good is kind of boring. Stories where everyone gets along and everyone is faithful and true and the only conflict comes about when he becomes gluten intolerant and she decides that bread is banned from the house when she should (or should she) just make him suffer as he watches her eat the french bread steaming hot with melted butter...
Susie, this is just so true and so well said. I watch Judge Judy and once got so angry at these young women who have had to go to court to get money back from a man who promised to pay it back and didn't. But then I realized that it is the loneliness and isolating aloneness that drives them into the arms of these loser men.
ReplyDeleteThey just hope if they love him, feed him, support him, pay for him that he will turn into the loving, caring partner they're so desperate for. It's hard to blame them when most have at least one child, usually more, are working sometimes two jobs, and you know how desperately they need someone to care, someone to help now and then, just someone to talk with and laugh with and hang out with.
I really ache for them because no, we are never going to change a woman who wants a guy so much she's willing to overlook his character deficiencies, but you can understand the loneliness that drives her to foolishly think that THIS TIME it will be different. It never is, but hope is eternal...or so they say.
Susie, this is just so true and so well said. I watch Judge Judy and once got so angry at these young women who have had to go to court to get money back from a man who promised to pay it back and didn't. But then I realized that it is the loneliness and isolating aloneness that drives them into the arms of these loser men.
ReplyDeleteThey just hope if they love him, feed him, support him, pay for him that he will turn into the loving, caring partner they're so desperate for. It's hard to blame them when most have at least one child, usually more, are working sometimes two jobs, and you know how desperately they need someone to care, someone to help now and then, just someone to talk with and laugh with and hang out with.
I really ache for them because no, we are never going to change a woman who wants a guy so much she's willing to overlook his character deficiencies, but you can understand the loneliness that drives her to foolishly think that THIS TIME it will be different. It never is, but hope is eternal...or so they say.
Well, like Annie, somehow this published twice. That's okay. I like it that much.
ReplyDeleteSince we're talkin' lyrics, here are some more that might shed some light on the perplexing subject of "the things we do for love":
ReplyDeleteYou Can't Stop the Beat
From Hairspray
Ever since this old world began,
a woman found out if she shook it,
she could shake up a man.
And so I'm gonna shake and shimmy it the best that I can today.
'Cause you can't stop the motion of the ocean
or the sun in the sky.
You can wonder if you wanna,
but I never ask why.
And if you try to hold me down,
I'm gonna spit in your eye and say
that you can't stop the beat!
Love Changes Everything
From Aspects of Love
Love will turn your world around
and that world will last forever.
Yes love, love changes everything;
brings you glory, brings you shame.
Nothing in the world will ever be the same.
Off into the world we go;
planning futures, shaping years.
Love bursts in and suddenly,
all our wisdom disappears.
Love makes fools of everyone;
all the rules we make are broken.
Yes love, love changes everyone;
live or perish in its flame.
Love will never let you be the same.
And here's that guy who took it all for granted:
Working My Way Back to You
From Jersey Boys
Workin' my way back to you, babe,
with a burnin' love inside.
Yeah, I'm workin' my way back to you, babe,
and thehappiness that died.
I let it.
When you were so in love with me,
I played around like I was free
Thought I could have my cake and eat it too,
but how I cried over losin' you
For every day I made you cry,
I'm payin, girl, 'til the day that I die.
I'll keep workin' my way back to you, babe
with a burnin' love inside
If this is Beyonce's guy, I'd say he's s#!* outta luck!