25 Things You May Not Know About Me and Probably Could Care Less About

Okay, last week was the first half of 25 things you don't know about me. This week is the last half. Another one of our writers gets to post next week...aren't you glad?

13. I actually voted for Richard Nixon. I know…many of you who know me won't believe it--I can't believe it either. I’ve been trying to live it down ever since. But I figure if Hillary could overcome being a Goldwater Girl, I can overcome this.

14. When I was young and single, I once partied a little too hardy one night so a friend dropped me at my apartment, but she left before I realized I didn’t have my apartment keys. Since it was 3 a.m., I was too embarrassed to wake the apartment manager. So, I walked around the block until I found an unlocked car and lay down in the back seat until 7 a.m. when I felt okay about asking the manager to let me in to my apartment.

15. With three college friends, I took off from Boulder, Colorado and drove to San Francisco for the weekend once. We left on a Friday night, had car trouble in Wyoming, had to be towed back to Laramie, Wyoming, got the car fixed, continued on the trip, got to San Francisco on Saturday afternoon, spent the night with a friend attending a Catholic women’s college, did San Francisco that night, then got back in the car on Sunday, and drove all the way back to Boulder. I bought four cheap art prints of the city of San Francisco that I framed and still have to this day.

16. My favorite job was as a book store clerk at a used bookstore. My favorite frequent customers were: (1) a little old lady with specs perched on her nose, her hair pulled into a little white bun on top of her head, and who looked like everyone’s lovable old grandma— but she was a retired zoologist who specialized in rats, had published research papers on rats, and came in every month or so to see if we had any new books on rats--she told me more about rats than I ever knew there was to know; (2) a couple I called Ken and Barbie—Barbie always wore a little short skirt that barely covered her fanny and they walked around the store arm in arm, Ken with his hand up her skirt, resting on her fanny and rubbing it up and down; (3) the homeless couple who lived in their car in the parking lot and came in to use the bathroom, then picked out a section in the bookstore and spent the day reading;if they were getting along, they sat in the same section; if they were fighting, she sat by the Divorce/Death and Dying section in the Psychology nook and he sat in the Guns and Hunting section; (4) the very stacked, wow-looking, airhead blond who came in one day and asked for “that book on the Oprah show”—she didn’t know the title or the author, but said it was a “big yellow book” –our single male manager, his tongue hanging out in lust, told her we only had a red book section and a blue book section, but had not yet developed our “yellow” book section, however, he happily offered to walk her around the store looking for yellow books...They spent a long time in a back room we called the “vault” because the bookstore was located in a former bank—the vault housed sets of books like old encyclopedias, Great Books series, and other sets—there were NO yellow books back there…I checked later.

17. I once thought Lawrence Welk played classical music because my grandmother loved him so much and she was a classical pianist and piano teacher.

18. I still miss Johnny Carson—Jay, Conan, and Dave just can’t compare.

19. I watch the movie, Love Actually, every Christmas and cry every time.

20. I have always secretly been in love with Tommy Lee Jones.

21. I have a crush on Chris Matthews of MSNBC. So does my sister, but I think he’d like me better.

22. I once got so mad at my 12-year-old son and his messy room where he had let, among other things, an overturned bottle of Elmer’s glue drip off his desk, down the wall, and onto the carpet that while he was at school one day, I moved all his furniture, clothes, and belongings down to the garage and put a “condemned” sign on his bedroom door. I still don’t know how I did it all by myself—just motivated and strengthened by anger I guess because I got everything—the bed, the desk, the bed table, the lamps, the clothes, the stereo, the books, etc.— downstairs to the garage except for the triple dresser and mirror. When he got home from school, he and his friends were thunderstruck at what I’d done. They laughed and laughed and helped him move it all back.

23. When I was in junior high I decided to read through the set of encyclopedias we had. I think I made it to about C before giving up. I still occasionally like to browse through an encyclopedia just for fun and, sometimes, I even read the dictionary for fun.

24. I love watching home improvement shows on HGTV. They’re so imaginative—did you know you can build a backyard gazebo over just one weekend as shown in one half-hour show. I know…I don’t believe it either. My fantasy is that Divine Design, Designer’s Challenge, or This Old House will find me and remake me one day. My major question to home improvement experts is: We can go to the moon, we can send drones by remote control to bomb places, we are the most electronically sophisticated generation ever, so with all this technological knowledge and expertise, why can’t we make a sliding patio door with rollers that actually slide effortlessly and smoothly and last for more than 6 months?

25. I love hardware stores. I love looking at all the gadgets I don’t need, will never buy, and don’t know how to use. I don’t know how to do anything, so I really admire tools and people who know how to use them. Along with my hairdresser, my handyman is my most indispensable person. I have told both of them they absolutely cannot die before I do or it will ruin my life. I sometimes think I’d like to move to another state, but I can’t stand the thought of leaving my hairdresser or my handyman. Doctors, accountants, and lawyers you can replace easily. Good hairdressers and good handymen—almost impossible.