More Cassie Chronicles

In our last episode new home sales rep, Cassie Petersen, was fluffing pillows with her boss, Skinny Bitch. See what she's dealing with now!

Some People!

So you don’t get me wrong, I’ll say right up front that people are the best thing about my job. I meet lots of wonderful families. But dealing with people is really the worst part of my job, and even after twenty years I find myself shaking my head at some of the things that happen. I shouldn’t be surprised anymore by the things people do, but I am. And sometimes it’s the people I least expect who surprise me the most.

A few weeks ago, for instance, on a busy Sunday, a woman fainted in the parking lot and people just stepped over her body trying to get in and out of the office. No one helped her, not even the nurse who was inside waiting to buy a house. What’s the matter with people? I had Judy call 911 and Sarah got a blanket, while I eased one of the sofa pillows under the woman’s head and held her hand as she came to. The impatient nurse came out to tell me that if I didn’t come take his check right away, he wasn’t going to buy the house after all.

“Okay,” I said, glaring at him. He looked at me like I was the rude one and stormed off to his car. Good thing I remained professional and didn’t say what I really wanted to say.

After the paramedics took the woman to the hospital, I went back into the office to tend to the crowd. There was this fresh-faced couple with a baby who were especially impatient, a minister and his wife. The woman sat in one of our sky blue upholstered chairs with the baby, while I answered a million questions for her anxious husband. I was happy to answer his questions, but all the while I was thinking about how this man of God hadn’t bothered to come out to see if the woman prone on the asphalt needed any assistance. He hadn’t even offered a word of comfort. The wife fidgeted and the baby fussed, but the husband didn’t notice. Suddenly, the minister’s wife jumped up and ran out of the office with her baby. Unconcerned, the good reverend kept on asking his questions until he was satisfied, gathered his paperwork and left without a thank you.

As the door closed behind him, I caught a whiff of something nasty.

“What’s that smell?” I asked Judy. I saw her stricken look and followed her outstretched arm and pointing finger to the blue chair. There, where the minister’s wife and baby had perched, was a swath of yellow-brown baby poop. The woman had bolted out the door, leaving the mess behind. No apology. No offer to clean up. People!

I donned my HAZMAT suit – surgical gloves and a smock that I keep on hand for these occasions – and grabbed my bucket of cleaning products. No sales office should be without these items, by the way. I cleaned the cushion pretty well, but the memory has lingered.

We call it the Poopy Chair now, and we don’t allow anyone we like to sit there. The construction guys avoid it at our weekly meeting. If that’s the only empty chair, they sit cross-legged on the floor. Big strapping men in work boots will not sit in the Poopy Chair.

Besides the exploding baby, in the past few weeks someone stole the sweet pink bunny sheets, comforter and curtains from the Plan 3 little girl’s room. A buyer’s son pulled down his pants and peed in the bushes right outside our front door, and someone threw up in the Plan 1 kitchen sink. Some people can turn your world upside down.

And it’s not just the customers. Skinny Bitch has had us taking inventory of every piece of electronic equipment and photographing every room in our models. There’s a spreadsheet to be filled out for each model. I’ve been busy with Phase 4 escrow closings, so mine’s not done yet and I’m in trouble with Skinny Bitch.

That’s why I wasn’t too surprised to see her stroll into the office this afternoon - after my spreadsheet, no doubt. Since I was on the phone, she motioned to me that she’d wait out in the lobby. I hung up, sucked in my breath and went out to face her.

For the first time in weeks joy filled my heart, when I saw Skinny Bitch lounging comfortably in the Poopy Chair. In that moment, from the most unexpected source, all was right with my world.

Copyright 2009 by Liz Zuercher